Envoy and Pussy were making passionate love in the back of Envoy's van, when suddenly Pussy, being a bit on the kinky side, yelled out, "Oh,big boy! Whip me! Whip me!" Envoy not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, opened the window, snapped the aerial off his van and proceeded to whip his partner until they both collapsed in sadomasochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Pussy noticed that the marks left by the whipping session were starting to fester a bit, so she went to the doctor. The doctor took one look at the wounds and asked, "Did you get these marks having sex?" Pussy was a little embarrassed but admitted that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaimed, "I thought so.

In all my years of doctoring, you have the worst case of van aerial disease I have ever seen. MY10 TDV6 HSE, Alaska White, Ebony with Contrast, Park Heat, Paddle Shift, Privacy, Heated Steering Wheel, Extended & Premium Leather,

MY07 TDV6 HSE, Zermatt Silver, Gone

-----------------------------
1964 Austin Healey 3000

2007 LR Defender

2011 VW Tiguan R Line

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Youve been watching again  some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Little Patrick asked for a bike for his birthday.His dad said"we'd get you one but our mortgage is 80,000 and your mum has just lost her job".
Next day little Patrick walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks"where are you going son?" Patrick replied "I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum your pulling out, then i heard mum tell you to wait, cus she was coming too. Im not staying here on my own with an 80,000 mortgage and no bike!" RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

And welcome back to the nursery Jay!  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Man with no legs and no arms sitting on towel on the beach. Three beautiful girls walk past and feel sorry for him.

First girl walks up and says "Have you ever been hugged?" "Man replies "No", so girl gives him a hug and walks on.

Second girl walks up and says "Have you ever been kissed?" Man replies "No", so girl gives him a kiss and walks on.

Third girl walks up and says "Have you ever been fu**ed?" Man replies "No", so girl says "Well you will be when the tide comes in!!!!"  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

A big scouse bloke is sat at the bar in a Pub, drinking away. A little camp guy comes mincing in, orders a bacardi and coke and starts eyeing up the big hunk sat along from him.
After a few more bacardi and cokes he wanders over and whispers "would you like a blowjob?" to him.
The scouser immediately chins him, picks him up and launches him out of the boozer, shouting "Don't EVER say anything like that to me!".

When he sits back down, the barman politely asks what on earth the little bloke said to him for him to lose it so much.


The scouser replies:

"oh, something about a job!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A primary school teacher asks her class if anyone can give her an example of the word 'contagious'.

Little Mary jumps up "Me Miss, Miss! My brother had chicken pox and the Doctor said it was very contagious".
"Well done Mary" says the teacher, "Can anyone else give an example?"
The ubiquitous Little Johnny jumps up "I've got one Miss! My next door neighbour was painting his garden shed with a one-inch paintbrush, and my Dad said That'll take the contagious!"

Haven't heard that one in a while. Whenever I hear the word contagious it always reminds me of that joke! 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Sounds like something i would say  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

In their retirement Pussy and Envoy, the wrinkled old pair, went to the Doctors with a little problem.

Doctor asks what seems to be the matter.

Envoy "we just don't seem to have much sex anymore"

Doctor say's to them "take this bottle away, provide a sample and come back in a couple of days"

Off they go and sure enough they return in two days but the bottle is still empty.

Doctor "I asked for a sample but the bottles empty - why"

Pussy "I've tried my right hand, Ive tried my left hand, with my teeth in, with my teeth out and


























I still can't get the top off the bottle" MY10 TDV6 HSE, Alaska White, Ebony with Contrast, Park Heat, Paddle Shift, Privacy, Heated Steering Wheel, Extended & Premium Leather,

MY07 TDV6 HSE, Zermatt Silver, Gone

-----------------------------
1964 Austin Healey 3000

2007 LR Defender

2011 VW Tiguan R Line

Cliff H wrote:

A big scouse bloke is sat at the bar in a Pub, drinking away. A little camp guy comes mincing in, orders a bacardi and coke and starts eyeing up the big hunk sat along from him.
After a few more bacardi and cokes he wanders over and whispers "would you like a blowjob?" to him.
The scouser immediately chins him, picks him up and launches him out of the boozer, shouting "Don't EVER say anything like that to me!".

When he sits back down, the barman politely asks what on earth the little bloke said to him for him to lose it so much.


The scouser replies:

"oh, something about a job!"

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs