In the human body, which organ is in charge?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an ar*ehole.

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Still will be even funnier to the guy's that went to Geneva!!  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

A bit old but very funny!  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

 some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

It was a hot balmy night with a full moon.
The matron was having trouble settling down the inmates at the nursing home.
The mens ward was proving particularly noisy and she went to get them to be quiet and turn off the lights.
The first room she went to was Mr Smith's.
She found Mr Smith sitting up in bed, holding his pillow, turning it like a steering wheel and making loud vroom vroom car type noises.
Very politely she asked what he was doing.
"I'm driving up to London for a visit" he replied.
"Well" she said "can we get you lying down and turn out the lights ?"
"No .....No.....No......." he replied "I'm almost there..see the lights up ahead."
"Well I'd like you to lie down so I can turn out the lights" she said
"No .....No.....No......." he replied "I'm almost there..see the lights up ahead."
"I'd really appreciate your co-operation so we can all get some sleep " she pleaded.
"No .....No.....No......." he replied "I'm almost there..see the lights up ahead."
Giving up she replied "very well I'll get the others to sleep and come back and hopefully you"ll have arrived in London"
She went back out into the corridor and rolled her eyes in frustration.
From the room next door to Mr Smith's she heard Mr Brown making strange noises also with his lights on.
She burst into Mr Brown's room to find him stark naked, jumping up and down on his bed, masturbating.
"What the heck are you doing" she exclaimed.
He replied "While he's in London I'm poking Mr Smith's wife ".

TonyMeg wrote:

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

The pharmacist fainted.

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

ivery819 wrote:

It was a hot balmy night with a full moon.
The matron was having trouble settling down the inmates at the nursing home.
The mens ward was proving particularly noisy and she went to get them to be quiet and turn off the lights.
The first room she went to was Mr Smith's.
She found Mr Smith sitting up in bed, holding his pillow, turning it like a steering wheel and making loud vroom vroom car type noises.
Very politely she asked what he was doing.
He replied "While he's in London I'm poking Mr Smith's wife ".

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

Turner Brown:

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says:
"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet
tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles
weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown, Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around." some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

ENVOY wrote:

Turner Brown:

This one's almost as old as VA!  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!