One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."

All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."

So the rectum closed up.

After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy.

They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be the most important to be in charge, just an asshole!! Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Never a true'r word said  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

The British Aviation Authority used to test the strength of windshields on planes using a device that could fire out dead chickens at extremely high speed.The device was pointed at the aircraft's windshield and if the chicken didn't break it,it was assumed that the windshield would survive the impacts of actual collisions with birds when in flight.

British Rail had recently designed a new locomotive and was testing various designs of windshields, so they borrowed the device from the BAA. Adjusting it to approximate the maximum speed of the train,they loaded a dead chicken and fired it at the first windshield design.

The chicken went straight through the windshield, broke several components and left a huge dent in the compartment door.Suprised by the result, they asked a BAA official if they had done the test correctly.An engineer checked everything and suggested that for their next test , they defrost the chicken first..  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into WalMart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The WalMart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to WalMart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't,
the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

ooohh the thought ! 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

...of being laid twice?  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
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............. just being Laid  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Hmmm... there was plenty of material in that dept on most of the stands yesterday. Well done, Alfa Romeo, Bentley, Nissan, Mazda and Cadillac!  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
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Did VA take his camera though  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

No, but Jay did. 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
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The Costume Party

A young couple was invited to a swanky masked
Halloween party. The wife came down with a
terrible headache and told her husband to go
to the party and have a good time. Being the
devoted husband, he protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin
and go to bed.

She told him there was no need for him to miss
the fun. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour,
awakened without pain, and as it was still early,
she decided to go to the party. Because hubby did
not know what her costume was, she thought she
would have some kicks watching her husband to see
how he acted when she was not around.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband
cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing
with every nice chick he could, and copping a feel
here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled
up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself,
he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time
to the new "action".

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since
he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little
proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went
to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before
unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what
kind of explanation he would have for his notorious
behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked
him what he had done. He said, "Oh, the same old thing.
You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got to the party, I met Pete, Bill and some other
guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I'll tell you... the guy that I loaned my costume to
sure had one helluva time!"

A woman goes to the funeral parlour to view her dead husband and complains to the attendant" He's in a black suit but he always said he wanted to be buried in a blue suit" The attendant tried to calm her down and said he would do what he could. The next day, the day of the funeral she was overjoyed to find her husband dressed in a blue suit all ready to go. "Thats wonderful " she said to the attendant "How did you manage to do that?" "Well, just after you left another man came in in a blue suit and his wife wanted him in black so after that it was simple, I just changed the heads over"

After a steamy night of lovemaking the guy notices a photo of a man on the bedside table.
"Is that your husband ?" he asked nervously.
"No" she laughed
"Is it your brother or father?" he persisted.
"Don't be silly" she replied.
"Well who is it then"
"That's me before my operation"

a young woman had been taking golf lessons.

She set out for the first time alone. Having just played the first hole and approaching the second tee, she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help.

Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"

"I was stung by a bee," she said.

"Where," he asked.

"Between the first and second hole," she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said "Then your stance is probably too wide."

Ray.

All good, Havank!  

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

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