RRSPORT.CO.UK

    Forum   Gallery   Shop   Sponsors
Home > Off Topic > Jokes
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 41 of 171 <123 ... 404142 ... 169170171>
 
shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #56231 Tue Sep 19 2006 10:35am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Kaine



Member Since: 27 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #56244 Tue Sep 19 2006 10:56am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
XXXAngelXXX



Member Since: 03 Mar 2006
Location: Krautland
Posts: 10894

Germany 

Laughing Laughing 
L 405 2013 FFRR 5.0 SC
--------------------------------------------------------------
WINNER - 2009 �Best Avatar� Award
WINNER - 2009 Comedian Of The Year Award


Post #56248 Tue Sep 19 2006 11:34am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #56257 Tue Sep 19 2006 1:08pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are
asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin," he says,
"look
up at the sky and tell me what you see.

Robin replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that
thereare millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it
appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's
evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Batman?"

Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:

"Robin, you f***ing idiot, someone has stolen our tent." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #56453 Wed Sep 20 2006 10:01am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
MDP



Member Since: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter v Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #56457 Wed Sep 20 2006 10:15am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
MDP



Member Since: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."



So he tied her up and went golfing. Laughing

--------------------------------------------------------------
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must
tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN

THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are

we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen

to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.

You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.

USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?

You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"


The husband calmly replied, ............"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." !! Evil or Very Mad 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #57012 Thu Sep 21 2006 12:15pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Welcome to my world!! Laughing 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #57017 Thu Sep 21 2006 12:56pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #57205 Thu Sep 21 2006 7:10pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Bobby



Member Since: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 3781

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White
Out of the mouth of babes

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out that there was no electricity.

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the mother in labour and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so while the mother pushed.

And after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and
spanked his bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

'Hit him again,' the child said. 'He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little kid had a bad habit of sucking his thumb.
His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he
would get fat.

A week later, his mother had her friends over for a game of mahjong.

The boy pointed to an obviously pregnant woman and says, 'Aha! I know what you've been doing!' Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

Post #57262 Fri Sep 22 2006 1:27am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #57294 Fri Sep 22 2006 9:51am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
shmoogle



Member Since: 07 Sep 2005
Location: ... and for every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!
Posts: 24350

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up


Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Post #57357 Fri Sep 22 2006 12:16pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #57745 Mon Sep 25 2006 2:01pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your ass." RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #57746 Mon Sep 25 2006 2:03pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #57747 Mon Sep 25 2006 2:05pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 41 of 171 <123 ... 404142 ... 169170171>
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2005-2025 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
RRSPORT.CO.UK RSS Feed - All Forums

Switch to Mobile site