WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST ?

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning
and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of
your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the
other night and Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was
saying, "Oh ! God, I'm coming!"

"If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted. Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter
______________________________
WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

"sick" joke

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A beggar runs into a bar and says
" bar tender , bar tender give me a tooth pick,"
now the bar tender is a bit confused and asks,
"why do u want a tooth pick?"
and the beggar just replys,
" give me the damn tooth pick"
so the bar tender gave him the tooth pick,
then another beggar comes in and also asks for a tooth pick and the bar tender gives it to him no questons asked,
then another beggar comes in and asks for a straw, the bar tender asks him,
" hey , all the other beggars wanted tooth picks, how come u want a straw?"
the beggar replys,
" well some body spewed outside and all the chunky bits are finished!"

 

2009 Outstanding Contribution Award - Joint Runner Up
2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award - Runner Up

Like it here? Then Donate to RRSPORT!!

Bobby

Cliff its an old one, still funny  some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

a heavily pregnant woman needed to get to hospital, but her husband was drunk and she was too big to get behind the wheel, so she decided to walk.
she took a short cut down a dark alley and was mugged and shot in the tummy.

mother and babies survived,

16 years later her daughter came over to her and yelled
"mummy mummy i have just peed a bullet".

mum told her what had happened 16 years ago.

her second daughter came yelling into the room
"mummy mummy i have just peed a bullet"

mum told her what had happened 16 years ago

next her son comes in saying
"mummy mummy"

I know you have just peed a bullet, she said








"no not at all, i was just jerking off and shot the dog" no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

All funny!!!  MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when
you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could
only be one passenger in your car.


Think before you continue reading

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of
a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going
to die, and thus you should save her first.
Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and
this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer. He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady
to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
partner of my dreams."!

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought
limitations. Never forget to "Think outside of the Box."

HOWEVER..

The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her
misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then
drive off with the old friend for a few beers.

God, I just love happy endings!

 MY12 SDV6 HSE Sumatra/Ebony/Piano/Sidesteps/Privacy/Overfinch Olympus/JLR DRLs

that fisherman needs his nuts kicking over his shoulders  

has someone been moderated ?  

ivery


aljo what the are you on  some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

ENVOY wrote:

ivery


aljo what the are you on

pussy posted a joke about the making of pussy and i replied to it


now its f ing gone

now i look like a right p***k talking to myself 

i thought better of it


but just for you its back. i am definitely off for 3 male hairies after this.

The Creation of a Pussy
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and f it,
and called it a  no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Last edited by pussy on Tue May 08 2007 6:12pm. Edited 2 times in total