RRSPORT.CO.UK

    Forum   Gallery   Shop   Sponsors
Home > Off Topic > Bad day at work?
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 1 of 3 123>
 
Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 
Bad day at work?

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister; she then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

************************************************** *******************

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all! Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office - it's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water, so it's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse…within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened; the hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator; his instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ar*e!

Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Post #129666 Sat Aug 04 2007 7:54am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #129669 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:15am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Shocked Shocked

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down Bow down no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #129670 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:16am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Dat's funny man.., but what's work and job? Wink

Post #129709 Sat Aug 04 2007 12:19pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ivery819



Member Since: 16 Jan 2007
Location: --
Posts: 1241

work bro......
thas be how those elbows of vitamin G be droppin onya.

Post #129714 Sat Aug 04 2007 12:41pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Hey white boy, dont y'all talk in riddles man! Iz you been at the ganja? Wink

Post #129717 Sat Aug 04 2007 1:45pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ivery819



Member Since: 16 Jan 2007
Location: --
Posts: 1241

no riddle.........just a puzzle !

Post #129725 Sat Aug 04 2007 2:03pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

Me dont do puzzles. Me do drugs, dealing, mugging and shooting, ok white boy? Twisted Evil

Post #129757 Sat Aug 04 2007 5:41pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

don't forget shopping for white track suits Rolling Eyes no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #129777 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:06pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

You use the term shopping very loosely there Pussy Whistle

Post #129778 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:07pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

ummm sorry,


me as white bitch forgot, i purchase

boobie-man pinches. init Whistle no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #129783 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:15pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Boobie-Man



Member Since: 03 Aug 2007
Location: Hot & Sunny Jamaica
Posts: 193

Jamaica 

pussy wrote:
don't forget shopping for white track suits Rolling Eyes


Me dont go shopping.., me go shop-lifting! Wink

Post #129784 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:17pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

how can you shop lift with a big stereo blaring on your shoulder Whistle no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #129791 Sat Aug 04 2007 8:25pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Cliff H



Member Since: 03 Dec 2005
Location: uk
Posts: 3233

United Kingdom 

He uses his third hand Shocked Shocked

Post #129829 Sat Aug 04 2007 9:26pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
pussy



Member Since: 22 Feb 2007
Location: uk
Posts: 1749

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

Post #129830 Sat Aug 04 2007 9:27pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 1 of 3 123>
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2005-2025 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
RRSPORT.CO.UK RSS Feed - All Forums

Switch to Mobile site