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ENVOY wrote:

* A student (American I believe) studying in Ireland took up rugby. As his first season progressed, he and his companions were eventually scheduled to play a team, which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that they weren't the most talented outfit to grace the field, they decided to accept the challenge with a 'do or die' mentality, hoping that the game would eventually swing in their favour.

They didn't. To make matters worse, Alan their star player, dislocated his pelvis after a particularly ferocious tackle. The player was clearly in a lot of pain so everyone stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, pop the leg back into the socket. Alan released a long, blood-curdling scream. To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles had been jammed in the socket and was now firmly held in the place between the femur and pelvis.

Incidentally, Alan managed to rip a vocal chord as a consequence of his screaming.

That one made me feel sick

How do you fancy writing the accident report for this then.............................. In the 1980's when I was a 2nd Mate on a small containership. Two of my duties were the ship's safety official and the medical person onboard.
During the voyage the AB's had been given the job of de-scaling the steel deck plating on the forward mooring area using what we call needle guns. These are pistol shaped devices driven by compressed air that makes 12 carbon steel needle tipped metal rods vibrate at high freqency. One sunny afternoon while I was on watch the bridge phone rang and it was the bosun calling telling me that there had been an accident forward and could I come to the focsle immediately. I called the captain and after he had taken over I collected my firstaid kit and went forward.......................
When I reached the focsle I saw the 3 AB's and the bosun and also the ship's cook who was bent over and appeared to be doubled up in agony - he was certainly crying!
Now here is some background - the cook had a reputation for being a bit of a lad and also was rumoured among the other crew to be hung like a horse. He used to show off about this and played it to the full. He also used to like to sunbath when offduty and the weather was nice. Well, during the afternoon the cook had gone forward to sunbathe and found the crew were chipping and painting. He dropped his swimming shorts, slapped his manhood out onto one of the mooring bits and then shouted to one of the AB's operating a needle gun that he bet the Ab wouldn't chip it.......................................... with which said AB brought the needle gun up to the bitts and pretended he was going to "chip" the cooks manhood! Unfortunately for the AB the ship rolled a bit and he dropped the needle gun, which for ease of use had had the "trigger" lashed up so that it was not so uncomfortable to use , but crucially meant that the "deadman" function had been disabled.............. the needle gun fell out of the AB's hand and certainly did "chip" the cook........................................

Really brought tears to everybody's eyes - but we were never sure whether it was with too much laughing or in pity for the cook at being so stupid. I have always wondered how the cook explained this to his wife............ it was a very difficult accident report to write and strangely it never appeared in the company quarterly summary of on-board accidents! 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
2018 Melting Silver Mini Countryman PHEV - soon to be replaced
2015MY Corris Grey SDv6 HSE Dynamic, the best car I have ever owned, totally reliable only a cou0le of rattles in 3 years, now no longer in my care
Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

out of interest ..... AB's ?

These are the qualified seamen - Able Bodied Seaman 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
2018 Melting Silver Mini Countryman PHEV - soon to be replaced
2015MY Corris Grey SDv6 HSE Dynamic, the best car I have ever owned, totally reliable only a cou0le of rattles in 3 years, now no longer in my care
Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

Ah - thanks

Tim in Scotland wrote:

These are the qualified seamen - Able Bodied Seaman

Not so able bodied semen afterwards though  

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Tim in Scotland wrote:

How do you fancy writing the accident report for this then.............................. In the 1980's when I was a 2nd Mate on a small containership. Two of my duties were the ship's safety official and the medical person onboard.
During the voyage the AB's had been given the job of de-scaling the steel deck plating on the forward mooring area using what we call needle guns. These are pistol shaped devices driven by compressed air that makes 12 carbon steel needle tipped metal rods vibrate at high freqency. One sunny afternoon while I was on watch the bridge phone rang and it was the bosun calling telling me that there had been an accident forward and could I come to the focsle immediately. I called the captain and after he had taken over I collected my firstaid kit and went forward.......................
When I reached the focsle I saw the 3 AB's and the bosun and also the ship's cook who was bent over and appeared to be doubled up in agony - he was certainly crying!
Now here is some background - the cook had a reputation for being a bit of a lad and also was rumoured among the other crew to be hung like a horse. He used to show off about this and played it to the full. He also used to like to sunbath when offduty and the weather was nice. Well, during the afternoon the cook had gone forward to sunbathe and found the crew were chipping and painting. He dropped his swimming shorts, slapped his manhood out onto one of the mooring bits and then shouted to one of the AB's operating a needle gun that he bet the Ab wouldn't chip it.......................................... with which said AB brought the needle gun up to the bitts and pretended he was going to "chip" the cooks manhood! Unfortunately for the AB the ship rolled a bit and he dropped the needle gun, which for ease of use had had the "trigger" lashed up so that it was not so uncomfortable to use , but crucially meant that the "deadman" function had been disabled.............. the needle gun fell out of the AB's hand and certainly did "chip" the cook........................................

Really brought tears to everybody's eyes - but we were never sure whether it was with too much laughing or in pity for the cook at being so stupid. I have always wondered how the cook explained this to his wife............ it was a very difficult accident report to write and strangely it never appeared in the company quarterly summary of on-board accidents!

I have used a needle gun in my line of work and know what it can do to iron or steel let alone a .......

must of had to sit down to wee, be a bit like a watering can rose  no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

You would be amazed to hear about some of the accidents we have at work - they make you wonder where shipowners get some of their employees from. 2020 Pangea Green 1st Edition D240 New Defender 110 is here and loving it
2018 Melting Silver Mini Countryman PHEV - soon to be replaced
2015MY Corris Grey SDv6 HSE Dynamic, the best car I have ever owned, totally reliable only a cou0le of rattles in 3 years, now no longer in my care
Also in my garage is a 1996 TDi300 Defender 90 County HT made into a fake CSW

if they are anything like mine Tim, planet zog on the dark side, I cannot imagine.

A chap in one of our locals worked on subs, he was the medic, not a trained doctor on board. They dropped the periscope and a chap was beneath it. Hence to say he had trouble stitching the head back on. This was in the first week of his post. Not good. no regrets!
ONE LIFE LIVE IT.

pussy wrote:

if they are anything like mine Tim, planet zog on the dark side, I cannot imagine.

A chap in one of our locals worked on subs, he was the medic, not a trained doctor on board. They dropped the periscope and a chap was beneath it. Hence to say he had trouble stitching the head back on. This was in the first week of his post. Not good.

'A Chap' or 'His Chap'?  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
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