RRSPORT.CO.UK

    Forum   Gallery   Shop   Sponsors
Home > Off Topic > Council Complaints
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 1 of 1
 
MDP



Member Since: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 
Council Complaints

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters.




1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back

passage has fungus growing in it.



2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I

just can't take it anymore.



3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to

swallow.



4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and

burnt my knob off.



5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly

when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.



6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls

against my fence.



7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside

toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them

off.



8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?



9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away

from the wall.



10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My

wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.



11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.



12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and

50% are plain filthy.



13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.



14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until

it is cleared.



15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a

funny colour and not fit to drink.



16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three

pieces.



17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every

morning at 6am his co(C)k wakes me up and its now getting

too much for me.



18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,

which is unsightly and dangerous.



19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would

like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.



20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would

you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of

me every night.



21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and

satisfy my wife.



22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times

but I still have no satisfaction.



23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and

we can't get BBC2 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #70641 Thu Dec 14 2006 12:19pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Havank



Member Since: 20 Jun 2006
Location: West Sussex - UK
Posts: 691

They are really funny Laughing Laughing

Post #70649 Thu Dec 14 2006 1:33pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

Crying with laughter! Laughing Laughing Laughing 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #70650 Thu Dec 14 2006 1:36pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
TB



Member Since: 19 Feb 2006
Location: Depends who wants to know . . .
Posts: 5927

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 SE Arctic Frost

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!

Post #70664 Thu Dec 14 2006 2:15pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JayMann



Member Since: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Stop acting like snob when you just won the Lotto!
Posts: 22898

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident


I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Post #70672 Thu Dec 14 2006 2:35pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ENVOY



Member Since: 09 Nov 2006
Location: In the shit as usual
Posts: 5823

United Kingdom 2013 Range Rover Sport SDV6 Autobiography Arctic Frost

excellent Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

Post #70681 Thu Dec 14 2006 2:45pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Very Annoyed
Site Moderator


Member Since: 23 Aug 2005
Location: bat-wielding monkey-spanking tough-love zero-tolerance Euro-sceptic moderator - So just watch it!
Posts: 19459

United Kingdom 

Following on from this

funny motor insurance claims

"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early." (thanks N Bradley)

"I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." (from an Australian claim form - ack N Shepherd)

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."

"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."

"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."

"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle." 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Post #70683 Thu Dec 14 2006 2:50pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
MDP



Member Since: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." = DRUNK or what Laughing Laughing Laughing 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #70694 Thu Dec 14 2006 3:13pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Kaine



Member Since: 27 May 2006
Location: Hills of Shropshire
Posts: 8902

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post #70718 Thu Dec 14 2006 3:42pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Post Reply
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2005-2025 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
RRSPORT.CO.UK RSS Feed - All Forums

Switch to Mobile site