My father is dying.
He has 5 weeks left (the doctor says).
Do you think a person knows when is dying?

 /|\

I think a person knows when it about to happen

My uncle asked for a brew, when at home ill in bed, my nan came back after filling the kettle and he had passed away

But, nothing makes it any easier, watching from the sidelines is one of the hardest things to do

remember the good times, chat about them and laugh with him over the silly things you both have done, those memories will last forever

What a heavy post but if it helps I can tell you my stories of my parents. My Dad had cancer and was at the point where he was getting massive morphine doses all the time. I was best man at my friends wedding on the saturday morning but due to my Dad I didn't want to do it. At 10.30 before I went to the church I went to see my Dad and sat and told him I was worried about the speach and he said don't worry it will be fine. At 12.50 just as I was about to make my speach The receptionist came into the hall and said there was a call for me and my Dad had died, he told me it would be fine but I didn't expect that.
The other one is my Mum again two years after my Dad had died she was diagnosed with cancer and I had spent every day at the hospital with her as my brother and sister both lived away so I was all she had. After two months of being hospitalised my sister and brother came to see her at the same time for the first time and as they arrived my Mum told me to go home and get some rest as the others could take care of her, she died as I travelled home. Everyone said she knew and as I was the closest to her she didn't want me to see her go.
So yes I think so but hey this is so heavy, you just let them know how much they are loved mate and leave nothing unsaid. Spud

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My father lived in Spain. He was dying of cancer. He hung on until I got out there. We talked about everything for the first day, even had fish n chips. The 2nd day he told me it was his time and he could carry on no more. He slipped away gently in his sleep a few hours later.

Make the most of your time mate.

This subject is quite close to me as its a year today that my mother passed away. Did she know..... YES. Definitely as her last words to the doctors were "this is is it isn't it". I saw her the night before and she told me to take care of my boys. Not knowing what was about to happen the next day. Again I believe she knew.

My father passed away 5 years again and after the day he died, the family found a letter on his computer dated 4 days previous. It basically said that he has had a wonderful life and that he was not afraid of the future and for all of us to take care and look after each other.

The bit that got me was that he told each individual that he loved us and that was hard as I never got to tell him that I loved him too...

Life is very short and we must enjoy life to the max and don't regret anything. Life is a journey and we all enter different paths.

I'm my opinion we will know when we are dying...

Sorry to hear this news but see as much as your father as you can before the day. And remember to tell him that you love him. It is what it is and I am what I am....

npinks wrote:

I think a person knows when it about to happen

My uncle asked for a brew, when at home ill in bed, my nan came back after filling the kettle and he had passed away

But, nothing makes it any easier, watching from the sidelines is one of the hardest things to do

remember the good times, chat about them and laugh with him over the silly things you both have done, those memories will last forever

Thank you Nick,


 /|\

spud1234 wrote:

What a heavy post but if it helps I can tell you my stories of my parents. My Dad had cancer and was at the point where he was getting massive morphine doses all the time. I was best man at my friends wedding on the saturday morning but due to my Dad I didn't want to do it. At 10.30 before I went to the church I went to see my Dad and sat and told him I was worried about the speach and he said don't worry it will be fine. At 12.50 just as I was about to make my speach The receptionist came into the hall and said there was a call for me and my Dad had died, he told me it would be fine but I didn't expect that.
The other one is my Mum again two years after my Dad had died she was diagnosed with cancer and I had spent every day at the hospital with her as my brother and sister both lived away so I was all she had. After two months of being hospitalised my sister and brother came to see her at the same time for the first time and as they arrived my Mum told me to go home and get some rest as the others could take care of her, she died as I travelled home. Everyone said she knew and as I was the closest to her she didn't want me to see her go.
So yes I think so but hey this is so heavy, you just let them know how much they are loved mate and leave nothing unsaid.

Thank you Spoud.

 /|\

Skipper wrote:

My father lived in Spain. He was dying of cancer. He hung on until I got out there. We talked about everything for the first day, even had fish n chips. The 2nd day he told me it was his time and he could carry on no more. He slipped away gently in his sleep a few hours later.

Make the most of your time mate.

Thank you Skipper.

 /|\

Bandit8 wrote:

This subject is quite close to me as its a year today that my mother passed away. Did she know..... YES. Definitely as her last words to the doctors were "this is is it isn't it". I saw her the night before and she told me to take care of my boys. Not knowing what was about to happen the next day. Again I believe she knew.

My father passed away 5 years again and after the day he died, the family found a letter on his computer dated 4 days previous. It basically said that he has had a wonderful life and that he was not afraid of the future and for all of us to take care and look after each other.

The bit that got me was that he told each individual that he loved us and that was hard as I never got to tell him that I loved him too...

Life is very short and we must enjoy life to the max and don't regret anything. Life is a journey and we all enter different paths.

I'm my opinion we will know when we are dying...

Sorry to hear this news but see as much as your father as you can before the day. And remember to tell him that you love him.

Thank you Bandit8.

 /|\

I wanted to reply to the post earlier but could not get myself round to doing it.

My father passed away 2nd September this year with cancer and still coming to terms with it. I had a few issues with him after he remmaried after my mum passed away in 2000.
We worked together in our family business for over 22 years of which the last 5 years were a struggle due to him remarrying. He moved out of the family home just over 2.5 years ago after which he had a child with his current wife.

We worked together everyday but i wouldnt go to his house. Then 1 month prior to him passing away me and my family went to his house out of the blue to visit him and my now sister, to say he was happy is an understatement, he always used to say you never know how long you have left to live. Nearer the time he used to say it more than once a day which felt strange. The day he was addmited into hospital he said to me that can you tell the doctors to hurry up i want to go now, after 3 hours of saying this his heart stopped and he passed away.

He used to do all the accounts in our business, 3 days after he passed away i started going through the books and noticed that all statments bank or customers had reconciled till the last day he was at work. Thinking about it now he knew he was going to go hence he got everything in place to give me the least amount of work to do.

Everyone i speak to know mentions that the last conversations he had with them he said that this may be our last conversation that we have because we never know when we are going to die.

My circumstances with my father were different and how i wish i had made things better with him earlier. The only small bit of advice i can give is make what ever time he has with you the most enjojable time of his life, and be there with him till his last breath.

If there is anything i can do to help just PM me

Always in my prayers

Aziz TDV8 HST STORNOWAY ON A 58
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AZIZBBU wrote:

I wanted to reply to the post earlier but could not get myself round to doing it.

My father passed away 2nd September this year with cancer and still coming to terms with it. I had a few issues with him after he remmaried after my mum passed away in 2000.
We worked together in our family business for over 22 years of which the last 5 years were a struggle due to him remarrying. He moved out of the family home just over 2.5 years ago after which he had a child with his current wife.

We worked together everyday but i wouldnt go to his house. Then 1 month prior to him passing away me and my family went to his house out of the blue to visit him and my now sister, to say he was happy is an understatement, he always used to say you never know how long you have left to live. Nearer the time he used to say it more than once a day which felt strange. The day he was addmited into hospital he said to me that can you tell the doctors to hurry up i want to go now, after 3 hours of saying this his heart stopped and he passed away.

He used to do all the accounts in our business, 3 days after he passed away i started going through the books and noticed that all statments bank or customers had reconciled till the last day he was at work. Thinking about it now he knew he was going to go hence he got everything in place to give me the least amount of work to do.

Everyone i speak to know mentions that the last conversations he had with them he said that this may be our last conversation that we have because we never know when we are going to die.

My circumstances with my father were different and how i wish i had made things better with him earlier. The only small bit of advice i can give is make what ever time he has with you the most enjojable time of his life, and be there with him till his last breath.

If there is anything i can do to help just PM me

Always in my prayers

Aziz

Thank you Aziz, you watered my eyes, thank you thank you.

 /|\

Tough question indeed. My grandmother walked herself into her local hospital for a cataract pre-op, for some reason they ended up diagnosing her with bladder cancer (not quite sure how the two are related ).

She was offered treatment and refused, a week later she passed away peacefully in hospital. I sense she had decided/known at that point.

I also lost my dad a few years ago after a long running illness, make the most of the next few days/weeks, they were the most precious to me when I sensed that things were not going too well, even talking to him plenty even when he was asleep. I wish I had been there when he finally passed, not 1000 miles away. My mum was with him though, he squeezed her hand and fell asleep for the last time.

Thoughts are with you in these though times.

Greg 

"Roads ? Where we're going there are no roads." Back to the future.