Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

Man: "Hello."

Woman: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

Man: "Yes."

Woman: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it okay if I buy it?"

Man: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one that I really liked."

Man: "How much?"

Woman: "£90,000."

Man: "Okay, but for that price, I want it with all the options."

Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000."

Man: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It's really a pretty good price."

Woman: "Okay. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

Man: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He smiles and asks, "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away, Kate went to her grandparents house to visit her 95 year old grandmother.
When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied " He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning"
Horrified, the womantold her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear" replied granny. " Many years ago, we figured out that the best time to do it was when the church bells started to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenous for us.
She paused to wipe away a tear and continued,
"He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadnt come along".

ENVOY wrote:

Hang on, isn't that your infamous check shirt you're laying on Envoy???

Brian Mason wrote:

Hang on, isn't that your infamous check shirt you're laying on Envoy???

No thats YOUR bed  some of my Previous cars
--------------------------------
P38 Range Rover Autobiography
RRS 2.7 HSE Silver
RRS TDV8 HSE silver
FFRR Vogue black
Disco3 HSE silver
RRS 2.7 HSE silver
RRS 3.0 HSE BALTI BLUE
______________________________
current vehicles
RRS 3.0 L494 Autobiography
Audi R8 V10 Spyder
AC Cobra
Landrover Defender 90
Landrover Defender 110
Suzuki Jimney

thank god she wiped her arse first  

can we have warnings of these posts first - I really didn't want to see that

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

ENVOY wrote:

Brian Mason wrote:

Hang on, isn't that your infamous check shirt you're laying on Envoy???

No thats YOUR bed

I really do feel quite ill............  Runner up - 2009 Best Avatar Award
Joint runner up - 2009 Outstanding Contribution Award
WINNER - 2008 ‘Best Thread’ Award – Beautiful Women Of The World
Runner Up - 2008 Comedian Of The Year Award
Runner Up - 2008’s Funniest Incident

06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods - GONE - (

Brian Mason wrote:

ENVOY wrote:

Brian Mason wrote:

Hang on, isn't that your infamous check shirt you're laying on Envoy???

No thats YOUR bed

JayMann wrote:

Brian Mason wrote:

ENVOY wrote:

Brian Mason wrote:

Hang on, isn't that your infamous check shirt you're laying on Envoy???

No thats YOUR bed

How do you know what his bed looks like by the way or do i want to know???

Oops, that's that little secret out!!!