JayMann wrote:

A British delegation are visiting a munitions factory in Dehli. The
trip has gone well but just before they leave they are horrified to see
a guy in a turban with a bunsen burner applying it to a huge 300lb
weapon.

"What on earth are you doing" asks one of the delegation

Don't worry he replies. I am a Sikh heating missile!

JayMann, you sure there are no Sardar-ji in your immediate vicinity??

 Malaysia Boleh!
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WINNER - 2008 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award
WINNER - 2009 Outstanding Contribution
WINNER - 2009 'Tech-Head Of The Year' Award

A woman brought a very limp duck to the vet's office.

As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so
sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away.

" The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned
a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind l
eg s, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet
patted the lab and led it out of the exam room.

He returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the
table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

She screamed, "£150!"...... "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged........ "I'm sorry.... If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."


 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

A man is driving his Porsche with his wife as passenger. On a quiet road they suddenly hear a thud. They get out of the car and investigate only to find that they have run over a skunk. The skunk is still alive and the man tells his wife they must get it to the vet. The wife says 'where shall we put it as we only have 2 seats?' The man replies telling his wife 'Put it between your legs'. she answers 'What about the smell?' and the man says 'Hold the Skunk's nose!"  2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

or......

Make it feel at home ......  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

The Bathtub Test



It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started!

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized...........


"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."



"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."







"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug................................ Do you want a bed near the window?"





















DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Ill see you there mate  RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

I thought I'd try and bath in the teacup! 2005 Zambezi TDV6 - Gone but not forgotten
2009 Alaska TDV8 - Gone and much missed.



WINNER - 2009 �Idler Of The Year� Award
Runner Up - 2009 �Just Doing What It�s Designed To Do� Award


DO NOT CLICK HERE!

That's one way of saving water RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: 2
litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange juice, a
head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee, a 250g
pack of bacon As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items
in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated,"You must be single."


The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.


She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what,
you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."  
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

She's in my shop now do you want me to ask her anything ? RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

Follow the link

http://www.zippyvideos.com/7727389891358746/chimp_on_penguins/ 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

 RRS TDV6 Gone but still around
SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW X6 XDrive35D
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
And A Van For Rex!

WINNER - 2008's Idler Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Comedian Of The Year
WINNER - 2008's Funniest Incident

I love boobies i love boobies i love boobies cuz i'm a big kid now! (Come on everybody sing with me you know the words!)

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."


She said, "Aye, did ye now, and what was your toast?"


John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."


"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.


The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."


She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!!!” Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
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Some people accuse me of thinking the world revolves around me, but I'm not stupid . . . I know it revolves around the sun. Which shines out of my @rse!!!