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tumshie



Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Location: Monte Carlo - Belt Up - not here.
Posts: 102

Monaco 2007 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue
Too High

The Urinals Are Too High

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boy's up one by one holding onto their 'wee wees' to direct the flow.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in the 4th grade.'



'No, ma'am, he replied, 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race'. RRS TDV6 HSE 2007 - Buckingham Blue, Ebony Premium Leather, 20" Wheels, Privacy Glass & Blue Furry Dice.

Post #173365 Thu Jun 19 2008 6:51am
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shmoogle
Site Moderator


Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Location: My arse, Your face.
Posts: 20331

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Laughing 

Post #173375 Thu Jun 19 2008 8:18am
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 7668

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population - http://trotterland.myminicity.com
Roads - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/tra
Industry - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/ind
Crime - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/sec

Post #173385 Thu Jun 19 2008 8:43am
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TB



Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Location: Depends who wants to know . . .
Posts: 4920

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 SE Arctic Frost

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

After a little while the little boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything let alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a football.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '£250'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have football boots.'

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'Ok how much this time ?'

Boy - '£350'

Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'

The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

Boy - 'To a friend of mine for £600.'

The father says, 'That's a terrible thing overcharging your friend like that. That's four times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sin.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here'.

The priest says, 'Don't start that s Censored t again you little Censored , you're in my f Censored cupboard now'!! Arctic Frost TDV6 SE. Aspen Leather, Cherry Wood, Privacy Glass, PTI, Tow Pack, Mudflaps, Tasmods, a new Fuelflap, a RRSport.co.uk umbrella in the boot & a RRSport.co.uk sticker on the rear glass.
__________________

Post #173548 Thu Jun 19 2008 6:51pm
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20488

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Old but a good one Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
BMW 320D M Sport (gone)
Shaguar Hard Type
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #173550 Thu Jun 19 2008 7:06pm
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will_wonka



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Pouring hot oil on the local peasants
Posts: 994

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged HST Rimini Red

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.

the stylist replied "no" so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied "ok".

after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, "breath in, breath out" My Gladiators:

RRS S/C HST - respect of the highest order
Freeloader 2 SE with all the toys - my baby RR
Merc SL55 AMG - Tarmac ripper!

Disco3 - Gone
Defender 90 TD - Gone
FFRR Vogue - Gone
BMW X5 4.4 - Gone
LR Defender 300Tdi - Gone
LR Defender 2.5 PETROL - Gone

Post #173560 Thu Jun 19 2008 8:04pm
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20488

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
BMW 320D M Sport (gone)
Shaguar Hard Type
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #173564 Thu Jun 19 2008 8:13pm
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 7668

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

TB - Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population - http://trotterland.myminicity.com
Roads - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/tra
Industry - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/ind
Crime - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/sec

Post #173595 Fri Jun 20 2008 6:04am
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MDP



Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Location: Back in an AUDI
Posts: 8598

United Kingdom 
Three Brazilian Soldiers !

Three Brazilian Soldiers


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."


"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"


His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.


Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
 
" WITH MORE EXTRAS THAN A HOLLYWOOD EPIC "

Post #173652 Fri Jun 20 2008 10:35am
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shmoogle
Site Moderator


Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Location: My arse, Your face.
Posts: 20331

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 

Post #173653 Fri Jun 20 2008 10:36am
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 7668

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population - http://trotterland.myminicity.com
Roads - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/tra
Industry - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/ind
Crime - http://trotterland.myminicity.com/sec

Post #173666 Fri Jun 20 2008 11:38am
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20488

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
BMW 320D M Sport (gone)
Shaguar Hard Type
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #173670 Fri Jun 20 2008 11:41am
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will_wonka



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Pouring hot oil on the local peasants
Posts: 994

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged HST Rimini Red

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked
and was climbing into bed when his wife
complained, as usual,
'I have a headache.'

'Perfect,' her husband said.' I was just in the
bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.

You can take it orally, or
as a suppository, it's up to you.' My Gladiators:

RRS S/C HST - respect of the highest order
Freeloader 2 SE with all the toys - my baby RR
Merc SL55 AMG - Tarmac ripper!

Disco3 - Gone
Defender 90 TD - Gone
FFRR Vogue - Gone
BMW X5 4.4 - Gone
LR Defender 300Tdi - Gone
LR Defender 2.5 PETROL - Gone

Post #173858 Sat Jun 21 2008 9:14pm
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Smarticus



Joined: 26 May 2005
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 670

United Kingdom 2005 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Rimini Red

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
definition of each is listed below:

' GUTS ' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are
you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

' BALLS ' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square
on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion, RRS TDv8 HSE Rimini
Disco 3 TDv6 HSE Tonga
Defender 200tdi, CSW, a mint, red one (can mint be red ?)

Post #173907 Sun Jun 22 2008 12:28pm
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20488

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
BMW 320D M Sport (gone)
Shaguar Hard Type
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #173908 Sun Jun 22 2008 1:25pm
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