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NickM



Member Since: 15 Feb 2008
Location: London
Posts: 2995

United Kingdom 
School 1970 vs School 2012

School 1970 vs. School 2012

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1970 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.

2012 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1970- Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2012 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.



Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1970 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2012 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.


Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

1970 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
2012 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

1970 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.

2012 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1970 - Ants die.

2012 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpertrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1970 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2012 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

Post #332005 Sat Feb 11 2012 12:46pm
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Ady 555
Site Moderator


Member Since: 12 Dec 2010
Location: Good old yorkshire
Posts: 8738

United Kingdom 2012 Range Rover Sport SDV6 HSE Santorini Black

Good of you to share your experiences nick Thumbs Up

Post #332012 Sat Feb 11 2012 1:23pm
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Bradders



Member Since: 08 Oct 2009
Location: Leeds
Posts: 2515

United Kingdom 

Bloody brilliant!!

Shame its all true too. FF 4.4 V8 Soooo looking forward to this bad boy
Ex 2006 RRS SC - garbage
Ex 2016 135i M Sport - dream car
Ex 2003 RS6 Avant - piece of cr*p
Ex 2014 320d X Drive, M Sport Touring - ok I guess
Ex 2007 RRS TDV8 - bloody loved it
EX 2007 FL2 XS - not so bad

Post #332030 Sat Feb 11 2012 3:13pm
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muddywheels
Milk Float Man


Member Since: 01 Jul 2010
Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
Posts: 5584

England 

Rolling with laughter good one Thumbs Up Wanted a Series 2 LR since childhood but previously owned MY16 Disco Sport HSE TD4 Auto, MY13 RR Sport Black Edition TDV6 Auto, MY10 RR Sport HSE TDV6 Auto, 2007 Freelander 1 Freestyle TD4 Soft Top, 2009 Freelander 2 GS TD4 Auto, 2007 Freelander 2 GS TD4, 2004 Disco 2 Metropolis Auto, 2002 Disco 2 GS, 2000 Freelander 1 SE TD4 SW

Still hoping for a S2 one day!

Post #332036 Sat Feb 11 2012 4:08pm
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codfather



Member Since: 13 Feb 2010
Location: ayr
Posts: 1171

Scotland 2010 Range Rover Sport 3.0 TDV6 SE Santorini Black

Very funny, but so spot on!

Wife is an English teacher and this one annoys the heck out of me!

Mark is not clever enough to sit exams and go get an office job or go on to uni

1970, leaves school gets an apprenticeship ,grows up a fair bit in 4 years and does well enough for himself

2012, is offered attendance money to stay on at school to massage the unemployment figures, he doesn't want to be there so he is disruptive in class and is generally an ass. Leaves school no brighter at 18, and still ends up on the dole!

Cheers
Dave MY10 TDV6 SE (debadged Wink ), Santorini Black, Flappy paddles, Privacy Glass, 20" Stormers, Mudflaps!

Gone: a comprehensive list of imprezas and a Merc ML AMG

Post #332046 Sat Feb 11 2012 6:38pm
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Mr H



Member Since: 09 Sep 2011
Location: Lincs
Posts: 427

England 2009 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Santorini Black

1970 - kid with dislexyia gets sent to headmaster for caning having been persistantly disruptive in class. Continues to fail in lessons and exams and leaves school with little qualifications and little prospects ending up in dead end job or unemployed

2012 - kid with dislexyia gets additional support and help with reading and writing, having had condition recognised, with class disruption merely a by product of boredom, frustration and anger. kid flourishes does reasonably well and leaves school to go on to good things.

(just in the interests of balance - the good ol days weren't always so good all the time) Smile Have i got the busted controller?!?!!?

2009 RRS TDV8
Santorini Black
Ivory / Anigre
Privacy
DVD & TV
Side Steps

Post #332153 Sun Feb 12 2012 9:50pm
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awd man



Member Since: 30 Nov 2010
Location: Malmesbury
Posts: 3355

2007 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Java Black

^^ Thumbs Up RRS gone
Audi SQ5...Gone Audi Q7 S-Line 240 3.0TDI Gone
Audi A6 Allroad Sport 270 3.0TDI

Post #332469 Tue Feb 14 2012 5:58pm
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kluklut



Member Since: 23 Mar 2010
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 45

United Kingdom 2007 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Adriatic Blue

LMAO!!! Hilarious mate.

But sadly all very true. PC and Health and Safety gone mad!

Post #333417 Wed Feb 22 2012 1:05pm
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