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shmoogle
Site Moderator


Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Location: My arse, Your face.
Posts: 20671

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

Post #175193 Thu Jul 03 2008 9:21am
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 8069

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

Laughing And perfectly believable too! Laughing Thumbs Up 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population
Roads
Industry
Crime

Post #175212 Thu Jul 03 2008 11:52am
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Bobby



Joined: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 1984

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Simple Mathematics

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
-- Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up.
--- Your Wife" Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter

Post #175304 Fri Jul 04 2008 1:46am
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shmoogle
Site Moderator


Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Location: My arse, Your face.
Posts: 20671

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

Post #175349 Fri Jul 04 2008 10:26am
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Bobby



Joined: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 1984

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong e-mail address!!!

An Alberta couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out
during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at
the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years
earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left
Calgary and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife
flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an
e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one
letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his
error, sent the e-mail to a wrong person!!!

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned
home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who
was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she
screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: January 17, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to
your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
then!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!! Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter

Post #176290 Thu Jul 10 2008 3:59am
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 8069

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

Laughing Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up for both! 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population
Roads
Industry
Crime

Post #176293 Thu Jul 10 2008 6:13am
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shmoogle
Site Moderator


Joined: 07 Sep 2005
Location: My arse, Your face.
Posts: 20671

United Kingdom 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up 

Post #176299 Thu Jul 10 2008 7:34am
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20861

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Officer, this is how the fight started...
I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault.
So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver
of the car I hit gets out of his car. . . And you know how you just
get-so-stressed... And life... Sometimes life seems like...
Suddenly funny?

Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF!
He gets out of his car and I get out of my car.
He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me.
Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at
him and I said,

"Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?"

And that's when the fight started.

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
Shaguar Hard Type (know you all miss her but she's gone)
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #176594 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:03pm
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will_wonka



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Location: Pouring hot oil on the local peasants
Posts: 1173

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged HST Rimini Red

Brilliant Thumbs Up

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter My Gladiators:

RRS S/C HST - respect of the highest order
Freeloader 2 SE with all the toys - my baby RR
Merc SL55 AMG - Tarmac ripper!

Disco3 - Gone
Defender 90 TD - Gone
FFRR Vogue - Gone
BMW X5 4.4 - Gone
LR Defender 300Tdi - Gone
LR Defender 2.5 PETROL - Gone

Post #176596 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:06pm
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Bobby



Joined: 07 Jun 2005
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Posts: 1984

Malaysia 2006 Range Rover Sport Supercharged Chawton White

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up Malaysia Boleh!
4.2SC Chawton White, Stormers
Tasmod's Sills, Wind Deflectors, LR Sills
Clear Side Repeaters, Towbar
Larini Sports Exhaust, K&N Air Filter

Post #176601 Thu Jul 10 2008 10:39pm
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flydive



Joined: 16 May 2007
Location: Lugano
Posts: 274

Switzerland 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Stornoway Grey

In a recent survey, people from Liverpool have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Lynx', a whopping 86% of Liverpudlians said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.

The other 14% admitted that they had never been to prison. '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil


Last edited by flydive on Sun Jul 13 2008 2:12pm. Edited 2 times in total

Post #176959 Sun Jul 13 2008 12:00pm
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20861

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing Laughing Confused RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
Shaguar Hard Type (know you all miss her but she's gone)
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #176969 Sun Jul 13 2008 2:08pm
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Supertrotter



Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Location: Toastier than a toasty thing...in a toaster
Posts: 8069

Cyprus 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Java Black

Nice one Jay Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up 06 RRS TDV6 HSE, Java/Ebony, PTI, Running Boards, Privacy, S/C Grille/Vents, Stormers, Tasmods, Black Badge Soon...

PLEASE HELP DEVELOP TROTTERLAND, JUST CLICK A DIFFERENT LINK EACH DAY:
Population
Roads
Industry
Crime

Post #176973 Sun Jul 13 2008 2:11pm
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flydive



Joined: 16 May 2007
Location: Lugano
Posts: 274

Switzerland 2008 Range Rover Sport TDV8 HSE Stornoway Grey

Two Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip.

I'm John, he's Jim.
Two Molsons please'.

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

'Been on holiday yet, lads?'

'Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year, hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.

'Ah, England !' says the bartender. ' Wonderful country... the history, the fine beer, the culture...'

'Nah, we don't like that warm British crap beer nor their lousy pub food,' says John. “Hamburgers & Molson’s beer, that's us, eh Jim?
And we can't stand the English - They are arrogant, know-it-all rude bastards.'

'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.

Says John; 'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.' '08 RRS TDV8
I converted my diesel RRS to run on an environmentally friendly mixture of caribou fat and baby seals oil

Post #177038 Sun Jul 13 2008 8:17pm
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JayMann



Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Location: Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Posts: 20861

United Kingdom 2006 Range Rover Sport TDV6 HSE Buckingham Blue

Laughing RRS TDV6 Gone but still around

SL55 AMG
760Li Alpina
BMW 535D M Sport
BMW 320D Coupe M Sport
Shaguar Hard Type (know you all miss her but she's gone)
And A Van For Rex!

Oh and i love the girlzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Post #177042 Sun Jul 13 2008 9:22pm
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